The Book


Grab a copy of XES right now…


Find it on Goodreads and in select book stores

“Joy writes a real and honest book about what Christian women need to understand about sex …why would we want to miss that?!?  An easy-to-read book, with lots of great stories, Joy delves into why we often avoid sex, why we’re sometimes scared of it, and a lot of the relational obstacles to great sex (including mommyhood!)  ~ Sheila Wray Gregoire, International Speaker & Author of The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex

“Truth. Joy McMillan tackles the difficult subject of SEX in Christian marriage with candor and transparency. This is a book that I will be encouraging each of my clients to read as a way for them to understand how amazing sex can be..”  ~Alisa DiLorenzo, Author & Co-Founder of ONE Extraordinary Marriage


“This book took courage to write, and takes courage to read! It will challenge you, stretch you, make you laugh, make you cry, and change you! You will find wonderful treasures in every chapter – life-giving treasures that bring hope, freedom and permission to dream again.”  ~Mary Douglas, Pastor & Speaker


“Real, relevant, and rubber-meets-the-road practical! With raw emotion and wit Joy challenges us to bring God’s abundant life to the bedroom! A must read for any woman, married or contemplating marriage.”  ~ Marlene Lawson, Speaker & Author of The 1st Peter 3 Girls: Sisterhood of Tragedy, Triumph and God’s Amazing Grace


“This book reminded us that a good, healthy, uninhibited sex life is a form of worship because obedience IS worship. Just like marriage, our sex life within the marriage confines, is God ordained. Most people would not usually use the words “sex” and “holy” in the same sentence. However, since God created sex, it’d be a good idea if we were concerned about practicing it in a holy manner. Joy does a beautiful job of helping us to understand what that should look like!”   ~ Alan & Jamie Wood, Pastors of Inverness Vineyard Church (Alabama), Authors of Power Marriage, and founders of Third Cord Secret



“Great sex is less about how you position your pelvis and more about how you position your heart” 

In a society where it seems sex is talked about everywhere but within the four walls of the church, and is sizzling everywhere except the marriage bed, it appears we may have a problem on our hands. With her signature warmth and transparency, Joy takes on the myths and mysteries of sex and marriage within the Christian subculture.

Through the lens of raw faith, and with the compassion of one who’s tasted the shame and regret of sexual brokenness, Joy sets out to debunk some of the lies we believe, expose truth we may have missed and, with refreshing candor straight from the trenches of motherhood, she encourages us to wholeheartedly pursue God’s best for our marriages.

You’ll discover

• Why sex is under attack and what you can do to fight back

• How the church has unknowingly misrepresented God’s heart on sex

• How to cultivate a safe environment to speak openly about sex with your spouse

• Why carving out time for intimacy, even when you’re not in the mood, has the potential to transform your marriage and improve your overall wellbeing

• Practical ideas & helpful resources to take your intimacy to the next level

*Plus: 10 exclusive Simply Bloom printables designed just for you!




1.  What Door?
2.  Taking Up Residence
3.  A Losing Battle
4.  The God of Sex
5.  Chasing Extraordinary
6.  On Perennials and Patience
7.  Because Marriage is Just Hard
8.  At Nascar in a Horse-Drawn Carriage
9.  The Truth About Men and Sex
10.  Honey, I Have A {Life}
11.  Stop, Drop and Roll
12.  The Joy Thief
13.  Spirit Mingler
14.  Fifty Shades of Counterfeit
15.  Ditch The Carcass
16.  Journey of Joy
17.  Wrap it Up
18.  Practical Ideas to Turn XES Around
19.  Resources
20.  Exclusive Printables


“This is a fantastic book that every Christian woman should read. As someone who writes/speaks/works in the arena of marriage, it was so refreshing to find a resource that didn’t stay to just one side of the God/Sex line. God designed sex to be an incredibly joyful experience that unites couples and a taste of Heaven, and Joy totally gets it!” ~ Dustin Riechmann, Engaged Marriage

.“There is a movement happening in the church, and the wave starts within the pages of this book. It is time we kick the world out of our bedrooms, and let the Author of Love Himself, back in where He belongs.” ~ Tonya Ferguson, 4 Little Fergusons blog

“For far too long we as the church have reneged on our responsibility to fully and enthusiastically present to the each generation what an incredibly beautiful gift God has given us within marriage. In this amazingly honest yet sensitive book Joy has stepped out to tackle this issue head-on with great boldness and transparency. She is to be applauded for following her heart and not allowing any fear of ruffling religious feathers to keep her from presenting God’s heart on this vital area of marriage.”   ~ Rory Douglas, Pastor of Alma Vineyard Church, Michigan



To help spread the word and get XES into a bookstore near you, request it by ISBN: 978-0692028681