The Book


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“Witty and well written. Joy McMillan speaks so freely about the taboo that we are free to consider that it may be not only super fun, but holy. A ladies book club waiting to happen!”  ~ Shannyn Caldwell, author of The Healing Season


“Joy bravely weaves her own stories of brokenness throughout the pages as she continually directs our focus to the Creator and mastermind behind the whole universe, including this idea of marriage and intimacy. The words in this book will lovingly and boldly guide you as you let go of anything that’s holding you back from truly unlocking the beautiful, fun, steamy marriage we all truly desire.”  ~ Ashley Wells, author of How My Soul Yearns


“Real, relevant, and rubber-meets-the-road practical! With raw emotion and wit Joy challenges us to bring God’s abundant life to the bedroom! A must read for any woman, married or contemplating marriage.”  ~ Marlene Lawson, author of The 1st Peter 3 Girls: Sisterhood of Tragedy, Triumph and God’s Amazing Grace


“For far too long we as the church have reneged on our responsibility to fully and enthusiastically present to the each generation what an incredibly beautiful gift God has given us within marriage. In this amazingly honest yet sensitive book Joy has stepped out to tackle this issue head-on with great boldness and transparency. She is to be applauded for following her heart and not allowing any fear of ruffling religious feathers to keep her from presenting God’s heart on this vital area of marriage.”   ~ Rory Douglas, Pastor of Alma Vineyard Church, Michigan


“This book reminded us that a good, healthy, uninhibited sex life is a form of worship because obedience IS worship. Just like marriage, our sex life within the marriage confines, is God ordained. Most people would not usually use the words “sex” and “holy” in the same sentence. However, since God created sex, it’d be a good idea if we were concerned about practicing it in a holy manner. Joy does a beautiful job of helping us to understand what that should look like!”   ~ Alan & Jamie Wood, Pastors of Inverness Vineyard Church (Alabama), authors of Power Marriage, and founders of Third Cord Secret


.“There is a movement happening in the church, and the wave starts within the pages of this book. It is time we kick the world out of our bedrooms, and let the Author of Love Himself, back in where He belongs.” ~ Tonya Ferguson, 4 Little Fergusons blog


“Great sex is less about how you position your pelvis and more about how you position your heart” 

In a society where it seems sex is talked about everywhere but within the four walls of the church, and is sizzling everywhere except the marriage bed, it appears we may have a problem on our hands. With her signature warmth and transparency, Joy takes on the myths and mysteries of sex and marriage within the Christian subculture.

Through the lens of raw faith, and with the compassion of one who’s tasted the shame and regret of sexual brokenness, Joy sets out to debunk some of the lies we believe, expose truth we may have missed and, with refreshing candor straight from the trenches of motherhood, she encourages us to wholeheartedly pursue God’s best for our marriages.

You’ll discover

• Why sex is under attack and what you can do to fight back

• How the church has unknowingly misrepresented God’s heart on sex

• How to cultivate a safe environment to speak openly about sex with your spouse

• Why carving out time for intimacy, even when you’re not in the mood, has the potential to transform your marriage and improve your overall wellbeing

• Practical ideas & helpful resources to take your intimacy to the next level

*Plus: 10 exclusive Simply Bloom printables designed just for you!




1.  What Door?
2.  Taking Up Residence
3.  A Losing Battle
4.  The God of Sex
5.  Chasing Extraordinary
6.  On Perennials and Patience
7.  Because Marriage is Just Hard
8.  At Nascar in a Horse-Drawn Carriage
9.  The Truth About Men and Sex
10.  Honey, I Have A {Life}
11.  Stop, Drop and Roll
12.  The Joy Thief
13.  Spirit Mingler
14.  Fifty Shades of Counterfeit
15.  Ditch The Carcass
16.  Journey of Joy
17.  Wrap it Up
18.  Practical Ideas to Turn XES Around
19.  Resources
20.  Exclusive Printables



To help spread the word and get XES into a bookstore near you, request it by ISBN: 978-0692028681